Space Chimp To Death (First Draft)
THis is my first draft for my narrative story called 'Space Chimp to Death'. Next week I will be editing this and making improvements.
W.A.L.T write a narrative
Success Criteria
I know I will be successful when….
- The title is suitable for the text.
- The orientation tells who the story is about, and when and where the story happened.
- The complication describes a problem and explains what happened next.
- The resolution explains how the problem was solved.
- Seeks feedback and makes changes to texts to improve clarity and meaning.
In 1961 I had to go up to space in a rocket, I was just a young chimp to go but I had to go, anyways my name is Larry. I said “oeaa” which mens good bye Brax, he is my trainer but really he's like a father to me. He gave me a photo of me and him, so I can remember him. I was nervous and scared to go, 3 2 1…. Launch. BOOM!!! My heart was beating so fast, the rocket was shaking and rumbling, I was scared I wouldn’t survive. I was going to space because I was learning how to control a rocket ship and it was a challenge for me. But something happened with the rocket ship, and there were a family of mice in the rocket, and they broke the buttons to control the Rocket ship. Luckily I was a good fixer, so I fixst the rocket ship, but I knew it was winter, so I went to sleep I was sleeping like sleeping beauty…..
65 Years Later
Beep beep beep!!! I woke up and then I was looking at the photo, I saw the shining star’s and they look like emeralds. Then I saw the milky way, it has green and blue and all kinds of colors, it was dark. I was very old, I have long white weskers, and I have a wrinkly face. Until I saw the thing I was looking for along time it was earth, it was like a ball with green, blue and white swirls of paint on it. Then I was landing in the middle of earth, the rocket was shaking like the first time when I was lunching off to space in 1961. It was landing roughly, then my parachute went up then I was landing softly on the ground.
I arrived the door opened. Shooo!!! It was not the thing that I was looking for, there is dust everywhere, the trees were burnt, and know one was there. one tear came slowly down my cheek. I think they went up to space to find me. But I’m really ANGRY with them, they left our world like a junk of dead rat’s, they left a waste. The photo was in my hands, I dropped it then I dug a holl in the ground, then I bared it then I put a big rock over it. I went in my rocket ship….
But I heard something, then the ground was shaking. I looked back, I saw a stampede of ape’s. They knocked over my rocket ship. Then I ask them “who is your leader?” Then a big big big ape came to me, I said “are you the leader of the ape’s?” He said “yes I am”. but with a deep deep deep voice. He looked at me with an angry face, I don’t know why but he showed me a photo. I said “you know this guy?” “Yes” he said. But then I vember the leader of the ape’s, when we were young we were bff’s. I was angry with them, It wasn’t the humans that left a waste it was the apes. I akst “where Is brax!!!”. I shouted. He said he’s locked up in a cage, then I stepped in a booby trap, I was locked in a cage just like Brax. Then there was smoke everywhere it was Braxs wife and pet chimp, then they grabbed their ropes and tied them on burnt trees, they swung to us, then they got me and Brax out of the cage. The leader shouted “Attack!!!” then we gave the ape’s poison fruit’s, then they all died. Then all four of us killed the leader of the ape’s. Then we all went to live in New Zealand where it was safe…. But we never knew about the leader's son. He went out of his room, he saw his father dead on the ground. He said i’ll kill those human’s for you dad, then he finished his rocket that he was making for 20 years, he hopped inside his rocket then he followed the track of the smoke…..
2 years later
He arrived in New Zealand. But he found where they live, he knocked on the door, he was holding a big big big big gun, he was waiting……
Will they survive or not…. Don Don Don !!!
