W.A.L.T recall events through the eyes of an animal.
Success Criteria
I know I will be successful when my recount has a
- Title
- Orientation: When? Who? Where? Why?
- Sequence of events: What happened?
- Personal Comment: How did the events make you feel?
First Draft
The Starving Of The Day.
It was a lovely day, so my parents and I went for a walk around the river bank, in the afternoon during september with my herd. I was happy because I was in front of the herd, but my Dad was in front of me because he was the leader of the herd.
It was a lovely day so we went for a walk, As we were walking I smell lions ahead of as, they were chasing me because I was the weakest, BAM! As they dragged me into the water, and suddenly I can hear the crocodile want’s to eat me. As the lions took me on the dry grass, as I can taste and feel my herd is coming, then I see my herd coming to rescue me, as I was safe under my herd.
Well done Blessing. I like how you wrote BAM! in bold and used a exclamation mark with the word. Next time you write a story would you like to make it more exciting.
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